Pinay

I hope you understood that I don’t speak tagalog or cebuano since it’s my wife who is Filipina. I have a big concern for my filipino friends.

Do you live in the Philippines ? Are you a woman ? Do you dream to marry a westerner who will bring you to the West and give you a better life ? So this letter is for you.

Once a cousin of my wife phoned us and begged us to let her come to Luxembourg. I told her: “Don’t come here: the people are not nice, they are working too much, the families don’t stay together, everyone has a car but noone is happy.” Do you know what it means to work 40 hours a week ? I mean 40 hours of real activity not just presence in a working place ? Do you know that many people in the West have to fight every month to pay their bills ? Having a car and making some holidays in the Philippines does not mean that you are rich. Do you know that 7 of 10 newly married couples divorces ? Do you know that of the couples which don’t divorce many are not happy but stay together for whatever reason ? What future can give a unhappy couple to their children ? The children will have a bad example.

The cousin of my wife remained in the Philippines and is now happily married and has a healthy child. The husband has a regular work and they have a nice house. Is this not a success story ? I can tell you a lot of horrible strories about Filipinas here in the West who fell on the wrong man and many don’t find the courage to leave the husband. A Filipina who is in the West to work has other problems – more material problems. A unhappy married Filipina in the West has moral problems and suffers internely and sometimes has even no money since she completely depends on the husband. Infact many westerners treat their filipino wife like a domestic animal which has just to give them some company. And then sometimes she does not speak the language of the hosting country and does not understand the customs. Many have no contact with the locals and isolate themselves in their community.

Please don’t misunderstand me: my wife and me are very happy in Luxembourg, but do you understand the value of a family, of friends, just the value of a “home”? Believe me it’s an unestimable value. My wife and me we suffer for our families are far away, noone more than us understands the value of a family. My wife misses the Philippines very much for this is her country, the country where she understands the people and the customs. She would never advise to someone to leave his country and to move abroad. I understand those who move for professional reasons or to flee war or environmental catastrophies but to leave a country by marrying a person one barely knows and this just in an illusion to find a better life…no I don’t understand.

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